County Sheriff to receive Protective Gear

Earlier this week the M. Caroline Wain Wright Foundation announced it would be donating $10,000 to the County Sheriffs department this month for a new set of protective vests. Dan Kramer, spokesman for the Foundation, explains. “We have been looking for an opportunity to give back to Sonoma County, and with the recent reports of violence we felt this to be a most appropriate action.” He then went on to say that the Wain Wright Foundation looks forward to other actions for county improvement.

Major feels Terror Threat

The current Major of Santa Rosa, chief city councilman, Derrick North appears to be feeling the pressure of the national ‘Terror Alert’. He has been reported being see with armored guards as he goes about his daily business. When asked for a comment from the Majors office the press secretary said that, “Mr. North wishes it wasn’t needed to have an armed escort with him at all times but things have happened that make it a simple fact of life. The guards are provided to the Major by a private citizen that wants to help out the city by not over taxing the police or having the Major viewed as ‘wasting’ city funding to protect himself.”

Squirrels in Rohnert Park

The source for the Plague has been found. It appears that a hiker who had broken his leg in Lake Tahoe a few weeks back was admitted to the hospital. While the squirrel that he must have brought back from Lake Tahoe with him couldn’t be found; do to timing and location this seems to be what local Wild Life Professors are saying. While Tahoe’s squirrel population isn’t a problem it appears that the one that made it to Rohnert Park was a carrier of a stronger strain of the Plague than normal.

On a side note there seems to be an odd bit of reporting going on these days. A report that was unable to be confirmed and on political front is being totally denied stating that Military Bioengineered weapons are being tested right here in Sonoma County.

To read this unconfirmed and publicly denied story.

Note from the Editor:

In a story that can only lift your spirits. Yes, in the modern age some people do believe in Witches on Broom Sticks, Vampires and Werewolves but Lord only knows how or why.


WEREWOLVES RUN RAMPANT IN NO CA

By Tammi Edwards
Tabloid Express

SANTA ROSA, CA- An old myth has recently come to life in downtown Santa Rosa. Late at night on Saturday, February 1st, a new moon, a group of werewolves were seen ruthlessly battling each other in the middle of the streets. Legend tells of people cursed with lycanthropy as feral humans who would turn into man-eating beasts once they saw the light of a full moon. Harold G. Wartenheimer, a werewolf expert tells us the secret to killing these creatures of destruction. "You must make special bullets," he says, "from the product of melted silver crosses." Now that's expensive self-defense. But you'll need it, because these monsters can walk among us. You never know who they are, so you must always be prepared. A witness, who wishes to remain anonymous states: "I saw them change right in front of me, they seemed human at first, then they became this massive flurry of hair and claws. I ran away I was so scared." So it seems these beasts can change at will, do we have a new breed of werewolves thriving on the West Coast? Wartenheimer thinks it may be possible. What a way to start out the month for lovers.