| Background Analysis: |
Born to parents of a Pharmaco study gone awry, it became apparent not long thereafter that Slowpoke was unlike his fellow human beings. His early years are shrouded in mystery but it is known that he developed incredible psychic powers in his teens. He found he needed to generate tremendous penile friction to activate this power. Fortunately, though, this didn't seem to prove to be a problem. He also found that he had the power to bend both time and space by slowing down the movement in his body. He would move at speeds so slow that they were impossible to record using any currently available technology. When not performing with Ugly Americans, Slowpoke enjoys indoor sports such as smoking, watching T.V. and masturbating. His favorite food is double boiled deer penis & his favorite expressions are, "Blame it on Rio!", "Enjoy My Ass", & "Help Me!" Look for Slowpoke in his upcoming after school special "Parking in the Rear" |
