there was a little old wedding on the planet of the damned
the queen of siam married the amazing spider man
i got a 4,000 dollar photograph to prove it's true
i got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things that i do

now there's a million little brain cells dying every day
makin me that much less accountable for the things i say
i got a stack of scientific americans to prove it's true
i got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things that i do

now if you invited the whole world to your house, tonight
you'd have real hard time tryin to find a place to hide
i got 34 years of experience to prove it's true
i got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things i do

there was a little ol bug in a big ol elephant's ear
telling him everythinh that he thought he wanted to hear
and elephants never forget a thing you say, it's true
they got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things they do

now if you invited the whole world to your house, tonight
you'd have real hard time tryin to find a place to hide
i got a 4,000 dollar photograph to prove it's true
i got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things i do
yeah i got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things i do
oh man i got a million and one reasons for the fucked up things i do