Orlando
Ugly Americans "Boom Boom Baby"
Lyrics by Bob Schneider

i was sitting naked in a holiday inn down in orlando
and it was the morning of the last day of the year
i didn't know who i was and i thought i might've been evan dando
but if i was him than what the hell was i doing here
so i asked myself one simple question
what would i do with the rest of my life
if i knew i couldnít fail i guess i'd get the hell
out of orlando and find me a rich and beautiful wife

cause i don't want to do a damn thing
and i want to be appreciated
and i want to get paid well
and i don't want to be hated
i don't want to do a damn thing except lie in the sun
and be loved loved loved loved loved by everyone

so i called up the front desk to see if i could rent a porno
they said you better have a credit card i said honey i'm pretty hard up
but i ain't got no visa i said honey could you please uh help me
she said she was sorry but i think she was just disgusted
and i was kinda disgusted myself cause it had all come down to this
and i felt like a pervert but goddamn it gets lonely
when you're sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybird
down in orlando in the middle of the night

so i called up an old friend to see how he was doing
but he sounded like a robot and it was like i barely knew him
so i said i had to go then i couldn't take it any longer
you know the desire to throw my naked body out the fifth floor of the holidy inn kept getting stronger
i tried to take a cold shower but i couldn't get my nerve up
i just sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own hair
that was the worst idea that i had all day
but goddamn it gets lonely down in f.l.o.r.i.d.a.

then i thought to myself just what the hell was a jaybird
and just what the hell does it look like and what the hell am i doing so i tried to write a song about it but this is all i got
you know i sang it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it a lot
except the part about killing myself and the part about trying to find a rich wife
she said you should have gone to sea world you might have had a better time
i said honey thanks for the input thanks for the advice
but i think that the only way i'm ever going back to orlando is if i live life twice

cause i don't want to do a damn thing
and i want to be appreciated
and i want to get paid well
and i don't want to be hated
i don't want to do a damn thing except lie in the sun
and be loved loved loved loved loved by everyone