~A Dictionary of Minna Speak~
well, that's just smeeky.  Not only does she talk like a spewing locomotive, she uses incoherent diction at the same time.  Here is a translation of some of the more commonly used confusing words.

(your name) abbreviated:: a nickname, ie: DanChu, JaySis, Anphan
(your name) backwards:: a nickname, ie: Evil C, Ass I Ram, Nilloc
(your first initial)-dawg:: a nickname, ie: B-dawg, K-dawg, M-dawg, V-dawg
(your name) and (your s.o.'s name) spliced: refers to two ppl, ie: VickDrew
(your name) mutated to hilarity: a nickname ie: Tom-Ass
(your name) slurred with a whiney drawl: a nickname ie: Daiyo, Ahleesher
abigail:  resembling the actions of the mean girl from the play The Crucible
artsy-fartsy: having to do with the arts, embellished
ass: assignment, assistant ex. 'ass 9' or 'tech ass'
astral: awesome
awww: used to express sympathy or highlight endearment. very reflexive.
band major: a bando, usually applied to marching band ppl, but also to jazz band
blast:  an exclamation of frustration, sci-fi style
bleaky: pessimistic
bleeding: a paper that has been edited
blingy: swell
bucky: my nick name for my brother. also: buckoo
bugger: think 'screw', the verb--from a song of ice and fire
bushie: the 43rd president of the united states
but like wow: however, that's ridiculous
chain of pain: when the person in front of you on an airplane or bus leans their chair back, so you do it too, so the person behind you does it, too
chubby: crush ie: Sarah's chubby.
compie: endearing term for computer
cow: usually used as an endearing compliment
cute: innovative
elvaq: el vaquero, school newspaper
evil turkey: vergere, or someone else who is calculating
doof: food
fart books: frivolous novels ie: star wars books
farty: frivolous, escapist
fat dress: a dress with a poofy poofy skirt
foboo: FOB-like
forsooth: in truth, in fact, indeed--taken from the Merchant of Venice
four is bad luck: a rational attack against a horrible number.
frell: hell, as in, 'what the frell?'
gah: an expression of dismay
gay maker: a girl who crushes on closeted gay men
good grief: a verbal tic squelched from the animorphs books--they weren't allowed to cuss but they were allowed to kill, go figure
goose: a despicable creature sent from hades to bite innocent girls
halb halb halb: blah blah blah
hippo: a hypocrite
hoorah: a celebratory statement, sometimes used sarcastically
hot skater guy: imaginary dimwitted perfect hunk of man meat
i guess: i have nothing better to say
incoming missiles: nosy parents
krezlit: spiffy
liberalisms: pontificating expressions of my liberal leanings
like a bra: supportive
Lob Geraldo Baldwin: a stuffed lobster who is my surrogate boyfriend
markissimo: mark in singing mode
meaniepoop: a person who's actions are akin to unkind feces
merckness: having something to do with medicine or the merck manual
notebookee: the notebook i carry around
o: oh, used in net lingo mostly
oh hush: i'm embarrassed so shut up
ouch: damage
paf!: an exclamation of surprise, taken from jubilee's noises
perfecting : procrastinating
persnickety: great, usually used in a sarcastic manner
piddle: to urinate
poo: a sad person
poophead: someone who has poop for brains
por que?: why or y pun fun: usage of puns
punny: humorous usage of puns
raised by FOBS!: unapologetic excuse for any faus pax or grammar error
rantage: verbal diarrhea
republican'ts: members of a certain political party (note I am not affiliated with any political party, but i am a liberal)
shaup: shut up
ser: sir, taken from George RR Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire"
shavits: sh*t, taken from Star Wars novels
Sith: evil bad people, or a curse word substitute
skeedaddle: to scurry off the premises
smeeky: ambivalence, trickery
spunderiffic: neat
suay: hokkien slang for sexy
that's criminal: that's horrible
the heck: an expression of incredulity
tit: tech in training
titakky!: an excited greeting or farewell, ie: good luck
W: tungsten. used as a nickname for andrew tung
waboosh: a suprise victory, aka WBSH ("We Beat Sunny Hills!")
went poof: to have disappeared or vanished
y: commonly used in instant messages, means "why?"
yibber: to speak incoherently
yummy: appealing
zinger: you'll know when you see it. witty but cold comeback.
zing: to deliver a zinger

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