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Surviving Twins: A Practical Guide
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When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I was soon overwhelmed by the concept. The life changes involving one baby were planned out. I knew what I was going to do with our house. I knew how my relationship with my husband would be affected. I knew how I would handle working and childcare and finances. The difference between expecting a single baby and twins is amazing. All my plans were shot to heck. It is not immediately apparent, but when it hits, it hits hard. Two babies inside you, two babies coming into your life and your home and your relationships.
Being a person who loves to be informed and in control, I started researching. Nowhere could I find a simple practical guide to what was happening, what I was experiencing and should be expecting. I waded through dozens of books and web-sites and a plethora of urban myth shared by friends, co-workers, and family. Nobody I knew had twins and the local Mother-of-Twins group was less than helpful. Much of the information I found was scary, contradictory or just was not applicable to my situation. So I have set out to put together a general guide to help the average parent prepare for this amazing twist on family planning.
If you have no financial worries when faced with twins, if having twins doesn’t make you look around your home and say “where am I going to put two!?”, you probably don’t need this. If twins run in your family and are something you have experience with, you probably don’t need this. But if twins are a surprise, you have a moderate income and small home; here is some advice that may help.
GOOD BOOKS
As soon as you know you are pregnant, let alone with twins, you are going to want to read up on the subject. Even if you have had children before, the latest books will give you new and updated information on the whole process. There are a good many books on pregnancy and twins. Some are cute, with cartoons and pretty pictures and decorating tips. Some are intellectual studies analyzing parenting techniques and sibling relationships. Some of the books are just scary. After reading dozens of books on pregnancy, these are the ones that were the most useful and helped throughout the entire experience of pregnancy and birth.
The Complete Book of Pregnancy, Sheila Kitzinger
Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year, Susun S. Weed
Our Babies, Ourselves, Meredith F. Small
TWIN-SPECIFIC BOOKS There are many books on being pregnant with and raising twins. Some are clinical studies by doctors, or psychologists. Some are accounts by parents of twins themselves. I found everyone I read to be depressing or scary. The focus always seemed to be on fear, problems, medical complications, loss, etc. None of them were encouraging or positive. Much practical information was passed over to make space for extreme examples. Chances are your twin pregnancy will not have any serious complications. But you won’t think so after you are done reading a book on twins. It is good to be prepared, definitely read as many as you can bear- but don’t buy them, get them from the library.
You don’t need to subscribe the baby magazines either, you will have more than enough time to read them during your doctors visits, and will probably get complimentary subscriptions through the hospital once the babies are born.
Your doctor or midwife or nurse or doula (which ever you decide to use, or have to due to health insurance considerations) will also most likely give you a great deal of reading material.
As with all internet information on medical concerns, take it all with a grain of salt. The web is growing exponentially, and while there is a great deal of good information, there is also a lot of fantasy tripe. Again, read it, reference it against other sources, don’t let any of it scare or upset you.
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GOOD PRODUCTS FOR BABY
The baby marketing is almost as overwhelming as the whole rest of the baby experience put together. Everyone you know will suggest some product or another. You will be inundated with advertisements. People will constantly ask if you have gotten cribs, cradles, strollers, layettes, dimmywhidgets, whatsits, gizmos and thingumies.
The truth is you really only need a fraction of what is out there. Think about what you are going to need from day one, the rest can wait. Ask friends, family, workmates and other baby shower attendees for gift certificates to your favorite baby and toy stores rather than stuff. Folks who want to help can also pitch in by helping to pay for diaper service, if you are going to use it. Or perhaps someone would like to help organize meals for you for the first month. People will ignore you and still get you lots of sweet, cute and sometimes useless things, but you will also end up with a little financial help when you make up your list of needs- and those who contribute will know they have really helped you out.
Despite any rumors to the contrary there are no “deals for twins” out there. The health insurance industry has made it so that doctors cannot give you two for one appointments. Businesses and services are not impressed by twins in a day and age where multiples are no longer miracles. At the most you will get some sympathy and appreciation.
I am not getting kickbacks for any of these products! I used every free sample and coupon until I found the things that worked the best for us.
DIAPERS There is an ongoing debate over whether to use cloth or disposable diapers. The truth is that they both affect the environment equivalently. Cloth diapers use large quantities of water and chemicals in the cleaning process. Disposable diapers fill up the landfills.
Cloth diapers are a lot easier to use than they used to be. They come in different sizes, shapes and have covers that are easy to use. Some have Velcro or snap closures, or you can use a handy little three pronged soft rubber gripper, so that you do not have to worry about pins. Comparison shop with diaper services until you find one that meets your needs. You can ask baby shower attendees to chip in, or arrange for diaper service. Cloth diapers for two babies take up a lot of space.
We chose disposable diapers for a few reasons. We knew we were going to want to take the babies places and packing lots of used cloth diapers around until we got home did not appeal to us. The maternity center used cloth diapers, and even the newborn size seemed huge and awkward on our tiny newborns. Our house was so small that multiple diaper hampers taking up space just didn’t seem practical. With two babies the speed and ease of disposable diapers won out.
Huggies has done the best for us. They don’t feel like plastic, are super absorbent and rarely allow accidents. Huggies comes in a newborn size that fits babies 5lbs and under. The biggest plus is the adjustable tab closures. In this one case cheaper or generic really does not compare.
BOTTLES The disposable liner systems are wonderful and come in different brands. The generic and store bought liners fit in the name brand holders. These are great! They save time and effort that would otherwise be spent washing. The drop-in style is prone to leaks and accidents, as they don’t always seal properly. Disposable liners come in 4oz and 8oz sizes so that you can use what is appropriate to your babies’ growing appetites. Because the liner bags collapse as they empty, your baby will not suck as much air when they are learning to hold bottles by themselves.
FORMULA This is one of the most expensive things you will have to get on a regular basis. It costs up to $20 a pound. Enfamil worked best of the brands we tried. The powder dissolves well and the resulting mix is not grainy. The liquid and liquid concentrate forms are wasteful, as they have a very limited life after they have been opened. You can get it in bulk at your favorite discount superstore. Also, you may be able to get the nurses to send some home with you when you leave the hospital. NOTE: Breast milk is best. It is important for your babies’ health and development. Nursing helps trigger your body’s recovery from pregnancy and delivery. Nursing helps your babies bond with you and start to socialize. If you can manage to breast feed until your babies can start on other food, then you are a Super Mom! At the same time, if you can’t manage breastfeeding, don’t beat yourself up about it. Breastfeeding is learned not instinctive. With twins there may be many reasons to supplement with formula or feed with formula only. Discuss these with the nurses and doctors. Many people will pressure you unfairly about breastfeeding, don’t take it personally… how many of them have twins? If your babies end up being bottle-fed don’t loose the opportunity to share this bonding time with your babies’ other parent. I breast fed with very few supplemental formula feedings for three months (until they started biting hard) and then spent a miserable month weaning. Personally, never once was the process “symbiotic” or “wonderful” as many sources will have you believe. It was however, practical and awe inspiring.
BREAST PUMP I did not have much luck with this. I found it awkward and messy. However I have friends who swear by them.
WET WIPES Whatever is hypoallergenic and cheapest. Get a couple of refillable boxes and a couple travel size containers (or Ziploc bags). If you didn’t have these in your house before, you and all your friends will soon become dependent on them, they are very useful!
CAR SEATS You can’t take your babies home without these! They may end up being your single most expensive investment. Find the safest and most practical style available. Consumer reports will help you with this. You want one that will fit your babies from day one for as long as they are needed. If your twins are very tiny, you can get special padding to help support them or use rolled blankets.
BABY CARRIER Our favorite was the New Native Baby Sling. It takes a little practice to get used to, but keeps the baby secure, close to your body and your hands are free. Slings also work with babies of different sizes and adjust so that you can set the baby in different positions. There are a wide variety of pack type carriers as well. They involve many straps and are often more expensive than they are worth. The front carrying style allowed the babies to kick me in the hips and legs, making walking difficult. The backpack style means you can’t see what your babies are grabbing, and also often have large unwieldy metal frames.
STROLLER Twin strollers are big and awkward. But it does help when you are on your own or have older grandparents who are not able to carry a baby for very long. Find one that is sturdy, fairly lightweight, folds down easily and has large wheels. NOTE: Comparison shop. Once you decide which you want, check with different stores and catalogues, you will save a great deal! We chose a jogging style. It does not fold down as compactly as other styles, but has huge wheels that make outside travel easier. When the babies were tiny the easiest thing for one person was to put one baby in the sling and the other in an umbrella stroller. Umbrella strollers are very lightweight and fold down very small- you can also buy joiners that will attach two umbrella strollers together. Consider your storage space and the size of your car when choosing your stroller. We try to avoid using the stroller as much as possible. With two babies having as little paraphernalia as possible is a plus. The same goes for…
DIAPER BAG Don’t go bigger just because you are thinking TWINS! You are already going to have your hands full. We got a MacKenzie Kids fanny bag. It has well separated and closable compartments, is not bulky and has space for everything you need. It has an optional shoulder strap and a small handle as well. It is also a conservative navy blue. Most people don’t even realize it is a diaper bag. NOTE: Put extra diapers, wipes, change of clothes (for you and babies!), formula and bottled water in your car. Then you have it when you go out, or have an emergency, but you don’t have to carry too much on your person.
LAYETTE My first question was “What is a layette?”. Grandparents and friends kept asking if I had one, books said I needed to get one. A layette is just clothes and linens for your baby. Practically this ends up being much different than you are told. Here are the things we really needed:
24 cotton receiving blankets (you really can’t have too many of these- they serve every purpose)
6 newborn sized cotton kimono style shirts (so you don’t have to try to pull things over baby’s head when they are cranky)
6 newborn sized cotton elastic bottomed layette gowns (you don’t want the drawstring kind, they get knots in them and tangle around baby)
4 knit baby hats
6 pairs newborn sized socks (NOTE: wash baby socks in a lingerie bag so that you don’t loose them in the process!)
4 large changing pads
4 sets of bottles and nipples
diapers, powder (cornstarch based, not talcum), diaper rash cream, baby soap, baby lotion, baby oil (Johnson & Johnson’s makes a gel that is less messy!), swabs, rubbing alcohol, baby washcloths, infant pain reliever, infant simethicone/anti-gas drops
BOUNCER SEATS More than one company makes these sling style battery powered chairs. They come with or without sunshades and toy bars. These will fit your babies until they are big enough to sit up on their own, at which point they will try to climb out. Bouncer seats sooth babies with their motion and vibration. They are compact and moveable. They are a secure place for small babies to sleep and be fed. These were the greatest find for us.
FENCING You don’t have to worry about this until your babies are crawling, but then you will want it. If you are lucky enough to have a room that you can make baby safe then you just need secure gates for the doors. Otherwise you will want to corral a piece of floor as a safe zone. Fencing that sits on the floor is better than a playpen, this way you can walk through the area, or sit in it with the babies to play.
It is definitely worth it to have a membership to a wholesale outlet such as Costco. Diapers, formula and snacks for your older babies will be much cheaper in the quantities you will need. Sometimes such places will have car seats, high chairs, clothes and other baby equipment. You can also get quick and easy frozen meals for the rest of your family, which will save you time, energy and money.
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GOOD PRODUCTS FOR MOM
It may be obvious that you will need things for the babies. It may be less obvious that you will need things for Mom as well.
CLOTHES As a mother expecting twins, you are going to need maternity wear sooner than other pregnant women. Maternity clothes are horrible. They are polyester, ugly, uncomfortable and extremely overpriced. Rather than spend money on maternity wear, buy things in the larger size section of your favorite department store or at a store such as Lane Bryant. You will spend less, use the clothing longer, and feel less conspicuous. Find things that are soft and made of natural fibers. Remember two things: you may gain 50-100lbs and you will be wearing your maternity wear for months after the babies are born.
Coveralls. I lived in my Lane Bryant corduroy coveralls. They take the pressure off your stomach and allow you to still feel like you are wearing pants. These will not fit you at the end of the pregnancy, but they will be a comfy friend for just after.
Empire waist dresses. Even if you are going to be pregnant in the winter these are great. Pick sleeveless with full skirts and waistlines comfortably above your belly. Remember that you bust will be getting bigger. Styles with ties that adjust at the back are lovely.
Stretch leggings. Extra large cotton stretchy pants are about all you will be able to wear for pants. Most maternity pants with their expandable tummy panels do not take twins into account.
Oversized tank tops, t-shirts, sweaters and button down shirts. Make sure these are extra long as well as extra wide. These will be comfortable and somehow a simple layered look will make you feel less heavy on the days when you are feeling big.
Sports bras. Maternity bras really didn’t work for me, while pregnant or nursing. I relied on sports bras, they were more comfortable and gave more support. When I was nursing they were easier to handle than nursing bras. Maternity sleeping bras were nice though, they are extra soft and keep you nicely supported at night when your overly sensitive top might be feeling abused.
Comfortable shoes. You will definitely need an extra comfortable, adjustable pair of shoes. By the end of the pregnancy your feet are going to be worn out and probably swollen. You will want slip-ons, even if you are very flexible, getting to your feet will be difficult by the end of your pregnancy. I got a pair of clogs with rubber rather than wooden soles and still wear them.
A large comfy cardigan or flannel shirt. When you are pregnant you won’t get cold as much, but you will want something every once in awhile. If you live somewhere cold or will be pregnant during winter, you may want an extra large, tunic style sweater and an oversized coat.
SLEEP AIDS Fairly soon you will only be able to sleep on your side. Your back and legs will hurt. You will want a body pillow. Don’t get a feather stuffed one, or you will end up with little pokey bits of fluff in your bed and clothes. You may end up needing to sleep in a nearly sitting position. If you can manage it, a reclining chair is a nice investment for your comfort during the day, as well as sleeping upright. Also extra pillows for your bed and couch can get piled up as you need them for props. Don’t forget those bedside snacks- this will keep you from being kept up by nausea due to low blood sugar.
LOTION Whether or not lotions and salves help with stretch marks, they help with the itching and discomfort of your stretching skin. When you are nursing a good salve keeps your poor abused nipples from getting too raw. Pick your favorite lotion or cream.
CORDLESS TELEPHONE This is great! You can talk to people outside your home without being on a leash, before and after the kids are born.
YOUR PARTNER AND SUPPORT
Having support is very important. First I would like to recognize that family no longer necessarily means Mom, Dad, and Kids. Whatever your family dynamic, it will work. Love, support, responsibility and creativity count more than whether you fit traditional stereotypes.
If you are pregnant with twins you are going to need help, it doesn’t matter if it is traditional assistance, but you will be hard pressed to make it on your own. Whoever your significant other is, they will have to make some serious adjustments, beyond what is expected with one baby. Physical, emotional and monetary pressures are going to be exponentially higher than with a single pregnancy.
Start talking yesterday. Make sure you both read every resource available. Make discussion notes about anything that sticks in your head: dealing with in-laws’ opinions and suggestions, names, child rearing techniques, values, color preferences. Even if it seems petty, talk about it. Set aside time every day to touch base. Your communication and mutual support skills are going to need to be stronger than ever. If you practice it now, it won’t be so hard to keep up later.
The partner needs to be beyond understanding, supportive, loving and positive. This is huge (literally and figuratively), this is at times intimidating, scary, overwhelming, and hysterically euphoric!
Mom will need support with eating, exercising and mentally surviving the coming months. She may need to go on bed rest. This means the support person will need to be prepared to take on the brunt of housework, cooking, childcare if you already have kids.
The support person should discuss and make plans for the following at work:
1) Taking off as much time as possible to be home with the newborns from birth on. Depending on their employers family leave plan, WEEKS should be negotiable, not days. This gives the mother important support. It gives the support person bonding time with the new babies. This also shows the support person how much work is involved in a job that might not otherwise be fully appreciated.
2) Taking off one to two days a month for the first 6-9 months, either to keep Mom sane, or help with sick babies or Mom.
3) Using comp-time or leave-without-pay to cover any time you need to take off before the babies are born, so that as much of your baby leave is paid as possible. You will need the money more then, than now. The expecting Mom should remember this too.
Think about what Mom is going through during this pregnancy. While with a single pregnancy she may not show until the 5th month, she will probably show by 2 months with twins. Her clothes will stop fitting sooner. Her body will be working harder than with a single pregnancy, she will be exhausted. Pregnancy is an emotional roller coaster, times twins. Make a point of showing how much you appreciate what she is doing.
Help with cooking and housework even if it does not become “mandatory” due to bed rest.
Since clothing is going to be a sore point, get her a piece of jewelry (not rings! Her fingers are going to swell) or pretty hair accessories, which she will not out grow.
Make sure she has her snacks and water. Change your diet to help her keep hers healthy.
Learn some massage techniques. Foot rubs go a long way to win you brownie points! Get some foot scrub soap and peppermint lotion.
Go along to as many doctor appointments as you can. Help keep track of any questions you both may have for the doctor and make sure they are answered.
Participate in all aspects of planning for these new additions to your family. Get excited about baby clothes and toys.
Encourage any friends that may not be so family-oriented to understand how much she is going to need her friends’ support and love. Get them enthusiastic about becoming “aunts”, “uncles” or godparents.
Rent her favorite movies so that you can pause them when she has to use the bathroom every 15 minutes.
Take her out into public proudly, no matter how her looks may change or cranky she may get. Open doors for her, hold her hand, answer people’s stupid questions.
Back her up in the face of pressures and advice from in-laws, hers and yours. Show a united front.
Allow your awe, amazement and appreciation of the whole process to show. Keep positive.
After the babies are born, the support job of the significant other does not end. It is just as important. It is necessary to keep Mom emotionally balanced, rested, and healthy, to help her get back into shape physically, and to make sure she gets to do something other than mother 24 hours a day.
NON-PARTER SUPPORT
Mothers of Twins Clubs
Family
Friends without babies
Friends with babies (not necessarily twins)
Birth classes
Childcare classes
Another thing we discovered was how important places that welcome children are. Our local favorite breakfast joint has supported us through the entire pregnancy and beyond. Businesses that are not child friendly have lost our patronage. This doesn’t mean let your kids run around like hooligans, it means cultivate and appreciate the good spaces for your kids
Same goes for friends. Sadly you may loose people due to the investment twins will become in your life. Wonderfully you will find new people, sometimes most unexpected. Be careful of what people say and do around you and your children, if they don’t respect you and your parenting, then you don’t need them. Don’t be afraid to point out to people that your parenting is the biggest responsibility you will ever take on, and that you take it seriously.
STAYING HEALTHY
A twin pregnancy is harder on your body than a single pregnancy. You are supporting two extra living beings and under that much more physical stress. You will want to stay as healthy as possible to stay off bed rest and deliver as close to your due date as possible. Hopefully you are already in shape before you get pregnant. Staying in shape during pregnancy is going to be hard, but will pay off. You will stay healthier, you will recuperate faster, your babies will be healthier. Studies show babies of mothers who are active during pregnancy are healthier and more alert at birth.
Try to start low impact exercise as early as possible and maintain it for as long as possible. Walking, swimming, pre-natal yoga and belly dancing are all good choices. Communicate with your doctor about whatever activity you choose. Also talk to whoever leads or teaches any exercise class or group you attend, they may be able to focus your exercise to better support your pregnancy.
Eating right is going to be hard. If you are used to junk food or depend on coffee to make it through the day, you will have to adjust your diet. You will have to eat more than you are used to, in order to support two extra lives. Your stomach and bladder are going to have less room to function, since more space is going to be taken by babies. You will need to drink a lot of water. This will take up space that might otherwise hold food. NOTE: To make sure you drink enough keep a small glass in the bathroom. Whenever you are in there, even in the middle of the night, have some water. Carry a water bottle when you are out. Don’t consciously try to keep up with the food quantities suggested by books, unless you have a complication where you need to monitor your intake. Just make sure you don’t let yourself go hungry or get tired from lack of food. Keep snacks and a water bottle with you throughout the day. Make snack packages of cut fruits and vegetables, whole wheat or rye crackers, cheese, trail mix. Keep them at your desk at work, in your purse or jacket pockets. NOTE: If you are suffering from “morning sickness” it may be from low blood sugar. Keep a snack plate and a glass of juice near your bed. When you wake up at night have some. Eat and drink a little bit before you get up in the morning. My favorite was half unfiltered apple juice, half ginger ale.
Depending on how much you read, you are going to find too much or too little information on diet. I found several lists of “dangerous” foods that would have limited my diet to plain brown bread and water. Unless certain foods make you sick now that you are pregnant, you should not worry about meat, vegetables, grains, dairy products, spicy food, etc. Your body needs a balanced diet now more than ever.
Rare or raw fish and meats, fresh cheeses and uncooked eggs can be dangerous. Stomach illnesses that most adults can shake off may cause serious damage to a fetus. Some herbs and spices, in herbal teas or cooking, can cause pre-mature labor, or birth defects. This doesn’t mean you can’t have any herbal tea, or must eat unseasoned food, it just means be aware. Read ingredient lists. Also remember quantities often make the difference. Don’t panic, find a balance.
Try to cut back as much as possible on sugar, salt, and caffeine. Sugar gives you empty calories, and will make you more tired once it burns off. If you are a candidate for gestational diabetes, sugar is just dangerous. Salt encourages water retention. Caffeine has been linked to many problems, and may make your children hyper active. Needless to say avoid alcohol, tobacco, and drugs completely. A little bit of common sense and education goes a long way.
You will probably want to take a vitamin supplement. Don’t spend extra money on pre-natal vitamins. Most women’s multi-vitamins will have everything you need and cost much less than those labeled pre-natal. There are also gummy children’s vitamins! They have a lot of sugar and calories for what they are, but it is a nice change from swallowing pills. Trader Joe’s and Costco both carry them.
MENTAL WELL-BEING Take time for yourself. Whenever you have the chance, just remember to breath. Remind yourself that this is do-able. Take pride in what an amazing thing you are accomplishing.
If you can afford it, or if somebody would like to help you out and doesn’t know how, suggest pre-natal massage. Find out if any local spas or health clubs have someone who does pre-natal massage. They will have a special mat so that you can actually be on your stomach and get a real back rub. It may be the only time you can lay on your front for nearly 9 months!
Indulge in small rituals or luxuries. Sometimes small simple things are the difference between keeping yourself happy or loosing it.
Relieve those teary mood swings with sappy movies or books.
Thoroughly enjoy favorite foods.
Find a safe place to sun bathe, where you will not feel like a beached whale. You will need help with the sunscreen, but getting sunshine will make a difference.
Keep a diary. Write what you mean and feel, don’t worry about being nice.
Meditate and talk with your new ride-alongs. Guess at their personalities and habits. Is one calmer, one more impatient? Is one more active than the other?
Give your babies silly nicknames. It helps if they are something that may upset other people. Azwad and Murgatroid. Ishmael and Prudence. My favorite was “the little parasites”. Tell annoying relatives that these are the names you have chosen.
Make time to spend with friends. “Coffee-nite” with two of my best friends got me through so much, and lasted well after the babies were born.
Plan an indulgence for when the babies are born. Something for them or yourself. It could be a dinner out with your significant other, or a baby welcoming party. It could be something small and silly… mine was a custard filled maple donut and a large cup of coffee.
PUBLIC REACTION
Pregnant women somehow become public property. Everyone wants to touch you, ask questions, and give advice. If you actually got the proverbial “2 cents”, instead of just public opinion, you would easily be able to put your twins through college. Much of what you hear will be well meaning, some of it will be useful. A lot of it will be simply because people don’t know what to say to a pregnant woman.
Greetings from friends and coworkers will be replaced with questions regarding your or the babies’ health. You may no longer have a name- you will become “Mom” to people you never birthed. Total strangers will expect you to stop and chat with them. It will be assumed that your mind can no longer wrap itself around anything that does not regard babies.
With twins there simply won’t be any way for you to avoid rambling pointless anecdotes, nosey or rhetorical questions, ignorant comments and bad advice. These will be will be compounded by people’s infatuation with and misunderstanding of twins. Many of these comment and questions won’t be annoying until the 10th or 20th time you’ve heard them…
“What are you going to name them?”
“You aren’t going to have anymore are you?”
“Do twins run in your family?”
“Are they identical?”
Be prepared to nod and smile a lot! In the end only you and your family can decide what will work best for you and your situation.
From the 6th month on everyone will say “gosh you must be due any minute now!” “should you be out and about when you are so close to your due date?”…
EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT BEING PREGNANT WITH TWINS BUT DIDN’T EVEN THINK TO ASK
There is no average weight gain for pregnancy. It depends on your metabolism, activity, diet, etc. With one baby you could gain 15 lbs.- 50lbs. Some women who are overweight when they get pregnant, end up weighing less at the end of their pregnancy than when they started. If you are pregnant with twins you will probably gain twice as much as with one baby. I gained 85 lbs. I gained 25 lbs. by the end of the second month, without changing my food intake or activity level, and I was taking 2 hour belly dancing classes 2-3 times a week.
With a single pregnancy you will probably not show or need larger clothes until the 4th or 5th month. With a twin pregnancy you will probably need new clothes rather sooner than that.
Your regular OB-GYN or family practitioner may transfer you to an OB-GYN who specializes in twins. Twin pregnancy is labeled “hi-risk” automatically because it is an extra complication. NOTE: I highly recommend getting a doula or midwife, one who is familiar with twin births. A homebirth is probably not an option with twins, but these professionals know birthing and babies. It is really helpful to have someone to stay calm during your labor and keep communications clear between all the nurses, technicians etc. Especially if this you first labor experience, you may get lost in all the excitement.
You may be able to feel you babies move weeks early than the books tell you is possible.
You will know which baby is which and where they are for most of the pregnancy. They are not freely swimming around in an infinite space!
Find out about doctors and healthcare facilities from the nurses and technicians who work with them. A doctor who is wonderful during your pregnancy may be totally different during labor. Also talk to your anesthesiologist, this is the person who will be paying the most attention to you during your labor.
Find out about the Visiting Nurses Association. Our first well-baby check-up got done in our own home. This meant a nurse came to us, we didn’t have to worry about getting dressed, getting the new babies packed into a car and across town. It was wonderful.
Many things you need to know about babies once they get here, but are too tired to ask
It hurts to be a baby. Growing pains, gas, teething, diaper rash all cause serious irritation. Babies don’t have much control of their bodies. They bonk themselves, bite themselves, get stuck in uncomfortable positions. Have some sympathy.
It hurts to be a parent. If you are Mom, you have all your own body changes to deal with. On top of this, you will be hit, kicked, bit and poked by your babies, sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose. They don’t understand what they are doing, they do not mean to hurt you.
If you can understand your pet’s basic needs, you can understand a baby. The needs are basic. Your baby can express comfort or discomfort. Pay attention. Everybody gets frustrated, but you will be amazed at what you can figure out.
There is no magic maternal understanding. “What does that cry mean?” can be one of the most maddening questions. Most of the crying all sounds the same until the babies are several months old. Luckily there are only so many problems: hungry, dirty, uncomfortable, lonely, tired.
Babies get bored too.
Childcare is going to be that much more expensive with twins. Make sure your friends and family are willing and available to help out, even if it just means keeping you company or helping you carry on an intelligent adult conversation every once in awhile. Professional childcare would have cost us more than twice what I made at my very good job.
Remember that your body and emotions are not going to snap back soon or easily. Be gentle with yourself. This in not the end of the journey, it is the beginning.
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Everything written here is copywrite to ME, Marisa Herzog, except of course for brand names of things and products. Don't copy my writing. 1) I'm bright enough to notice if I find it. 2) Many people have read and proofed this and will notice with me.
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I will try to add useful links and keep them up to date. But hey, this is the internet. Links go bad all the time for a variety of reasons. I hope this information is useful. I wish I had had more useful info way back at the start of this adventure.
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