Again I Painted . . .

I once used care free strokes
to paint my barren place in this world.
They were squiggly streaks,
with silly splashes to smile my cheeks,
and circles to make my hair curl.

Those were hands of hope that guided my lot,
as curious feet peddled across the soil.
And when I plopped upon an unfamiliar spot,
they showed me wall shadows that flyed and coiled.

I explored every direction between up and down;
in openings, out closings, and across corners to go around;
over tops, under bottoms, and through the sides;
I found places to see, to be seen and to hide.
Some places it seemed odd to be little, so I thought I was big,
and sometimes I felt left out until I got right in the middle.

Stacking rocks, skipping stones and counting pebbles,
I vibrated the air with the splashing and clacking of a rebel.
I found small nooks where I took second looks
at the thoughts that came my way.
I filled crevices and crannies with the knicks and knacks
of the freedoms I found each day.

Some of the best things I ever said were never heard
and the first letters I wrote were large enough for words.
Lines and patterns, incidents and accidents,
each brush with fate caused my brain to bristle.
I scribbled evidence of every coincidence
and learned what a wonderous thing it is to whistle.

Then, after years of whim,
when tall walls surrounded
and bright ideas began to dim,
when the past was echo bound
and memories grew too worn too fast,
imagination's journey saught something to last.

With a sigh of goodbye I gathered a raining cloud of tears.
My eyes lashed each drop to filter fear
from the dreams of future years.
As a sandman's grains of color filled the texture of light's flower
I dipped an untainted brush into the well of the wakening hour,
and, again, I painted.
patrig 04/11/00.

I had intended to leave empty handed and alone
but along with me came all that I had ever known.
Unnecessarily bad would be the new roads crossed wrong
without the seasoned thought that wrote an old sad song.
And it would have been unkind to leave behind,
all those reasons that taught me the use of laughter.