For more than a year now, there has been a lot of grousing about the Department of Homeland Security. When first dreamed up the loudest shout heard was the question "why". After all, we already have the Federal Bureau of Investigation and lots of other Agencies and Bureaus, and let's not forget the Leagues of this, Organizations of that and Departments of the other. It seems we have an organization to service just about every secret imaginable. Why, oh why do we need another One of something when we already have so many Somethings that supposedly should be doing the same job?

Now that the Homeland Security idea is settling into the arena of acceptance, the complaining has shifted from "why" to "why did it take so long?" I, for one, think it was a good idea to have a separate entity to perform the duties of gatekeeper and watchman and that it was wise to take a little time in the creation of something so important as a new seat on the President's Cabinet. Isn't it delightful, however, that you can not please everyone about anything? If that were possible, no one would have anything cross to say about the event. With nothing bad to be said, the news folks, what with the public want for reports of negativity, would by all rights ignore such an all pleasing success and no one would be informed of all that work that everyone involved thinks they should get the credit for doing.

It is a very good thing that other department was created first, you remember, the one that has to do with Education. It came into being just in time, because what we have before us, folks, is an educational opportunity.

The kiddos now have a truly adult show and tell to watch. After all, it is not every day, month or year that a whole new national Department of Something gets created, especially one so potentially exciting as this one. On the scale of juvenile interest, secrets and security spy stuff rank way higher than some dreary organization devoted to education. That education one got dreamed-up, created, staffed, reorganized and darned near forgotten before anyone had a chance to properly beat up on it.

The departmentalization of education was mostly ignored because unlike this new authority it offered no place for jazzy background music, zero chance for vicarious involvement in the creation of new scientific marvel gadgetry and any mysterious, sexy girls emerging from the ocean would have been censored from the library. In short, all the things that attract kids were lacking. The only comparable excitement that the topic of organizing education had to offer a kid was the occasional blackboard eraser fight. This new organization, however, is an endeavor that promises to capture the attention of every adolescent. Let us not waste such an excellent opportunity to teach by example.

From the top down this new organization promises to be one gargantuan political free-for-all. Every politico everywhere will be jostling to fashion new positions of authority for themselves and their cronies. We have before us a whole new platform of political interest being divvied up. There are new security territories to create and each will have new echelons to be ordered for the pecking. Never in the history of these United States has these been such an enormous reorganization.

Most of those kids interested in this show and tell will grow up. One or two of them might even turn into voters. It would be unforgivable not to document all this strenuous politicizing so that all those underage, interested kids who now must watch the action from the sidelines will have recorded lessons to guide them should their dreams lead them to futures in the political arena. Time surely will prove that the ability to effectively handle security matters will be one of the deciding factors in all our future elections.

Hogging the limelight of security has been the exclusive territory of already established Agencies and Bureaus and Services for a very long time. So, before this new organization can be expected to move on to do any actual spy stuff we must be patient enough to allow a significant grace period for haggling and infighting amongst the powers soon to be. Just conquering the angst of figuring out what is supposed to be done and what constitutes success will require a great deal of time. Then it will be necessary to establish new precedents on how to claim success or properly place blame among the political serfdom. Documenting all these uncertainties will provide invaluable guidance for generations to come. There are books full of how to's and why for's that need to be submitted as history. Whole new libraries will be needed to contain instructions on how to deal with all this new secret spy stuff.

During the apparent lull between criticizing the creation of this new governmental beast and the coming opportunities to condemn its activities, the media has interim work to do. Journalism definitely has something new to add to its already crowded double duty of stirring the caldron of ethnic diversity that is our nation and exposing the toil and trouble that exists among the Democrats and Republicans as well as the occasional Independent or Oddball party member. It is of utmost importance that Homeland Security organizational matters are kept visible and therefore answerable to the public.

I have every confidence that every journalist of good conscience will add exposing the internal goings on of this new outfit to their list of chores with nary a whimper of complaint. It will be their heroic efforts that assures that the machinations of this new Department will not be allowed to slip into the dank, dark, unfathomable mire of FBI-like secrecy.

There are over one hundred seventy thousand new positions to choreograph in this orchestra of musical chairs. Such a mammoth undertaking will create an enormous silo of news fodder to feed the daily press, camera and microphone. The proper education of our children requires not only that they be taught how to form a new national Department but also the proper way to inform others how that formation is accomplished. There is much to be done.

Should you wish to join this valiant effort, please familiarize yourself with the established spirit of journalistic protocol. Should you discover something good to say about this new Department or wish to inform the rest of us of something done right by this new Department, please keep it to yourself. At the very least, hide anything that may be construed as complimentary beneath a sufficiently large pile of satire. Please excuse the need, but tradition dictates that the negative news be kept to the forefront. Otherwise, no one will pay attention.

patrig