[ Tuesday, April 30, 2002 ]
Just what tabloids are supposed to do
Peter Palermo [5:11 PM]
[ Monday, April 29, 2002 ]
(via mcsweeney's)
R A P P E R O R
T O I L E T R Y ?
BY MIKE DAULTON
- - - -
1. Suave
2. Nice & Smooth
3. Soft & Gentle
4. Shyne
5. All Fresh
6. All Natural
7. Remedy
8. D-Flame
9. Cream Silk
10. Volume 10
11. Dimension
12. Cool Breeze
13. Smooth Appeal
14. Q-Tip
Toiletry: 1, 3, 5, 9, 11, and 13.
Rapper: 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, and 12.
Both toiletry and rapper: 14.
Peter Palermo [5:03 PM]
[ Sunday, April 28, 2002 ]
What do you think, Sarah?
Peter Palermo [12:42 PM]
[ Friday, April 26, 2002 ]
The Real-o-meter
So far, I think I've started about a half-dozen, or so, series. Each series has exactly one post in it. Perhaps I can do better with the my new entry - the Real-o-meter. In this series, I list a famous artist, politician, chef, porn-star, what have you, and you let me know, dear reader, if they are for real or just another powder-puff. A heavy weight, or a dust mote.
here's the scale:
1 = an intellect that the Gods might envy, a creative flow that rushes like the Mississippi. The summit to which all humanity should aspire.
2 = A mortal human, but still living on plane slightly more elevated than you or I. Worthy of your respect. You'll pay 29 bucks for the hardback.
3 = A talented bloke who got some lucky breaks. With any luck, the career might continue, but then again.....
4 = An empty suit, might have had a brain before all the drugs. I'd hold my nose as I pulled the ballot lever.
5 = never entertained an original thought in their tiny, addled brain. Pays an army of marketing VP's to write her poetry. Never uttered a word that wasn't thoroughly washed of all meaning by a small cadre of pollsters and spinsters.
So, here is your first subject. Alanis Morrisette
Peter Palermo [3:29 PM]
Everyone should read this, especially anyone who voted for Nader.Frat Boys Rule The Earth / It's an angry, violent, warmongering world out there right now. You just live in it
Peter Palermo [1:02 PM]
Every name in the US sorted by populartiy. Who would name their son Patricia? 1990 Census Name Files
Peter Palermo [12:50 PM]
More about the crooked crooks on Wall Street. Frequent readers may remember a diatribe about IPOs and the many ways to bilk an investor. Now Robertson/Stevens (for whom I once worked as Santa, but the less said about that chapter of my life, the better) and JP Morgan are under investigation.Yahoo! News - SEC Unveils Probe of Wall Street Research
Peter Palermo [12:45 PM]
Olympus Mons
Peter Palermo [9:55 AM]
[ Thursday, April 25, 2002 ]
Great quote last night on Bill Moyer's show. A gentleman was talking about the inability to get GE to do anything about PCBs in the Hudson River. He said "a corporation's not like a man, it has neither a soul to save nor ass to kick."
I love that.
Peter Palermo [4:10 PM]
I saw a strange man carrying a sign today. He walked completely on the outsides of his feet, as if crossing some unseen log. He was hunched and bespectacled and was shuffling down Montgomery Street, in the heart of the San Francisco business district. His sign consisted of complete gibberish that I cannot even relate to you execpt for this -www.freejohnwalker.net. I pass it to you ala Rod Serling. For your approval and without comment.
Peter Palermo [9:55 AM]
[ Wednesday, April 24, 2002 ]
This makes you wonder what went on here. Is there danger in blogging that I'm not aware of?
Peter Palermo [11:10 PM]
Rant Alert
According the CDC, obesity is killing 300,000 Americans a year. Second only to tobacco as the leading cause of death. Now, I’m not going to get up here and preach about the virtues of eating right and exercise, I’m a pudgy, couch potato. So what I am going to rant about is fairness and keeping the government’s nose out of your business.
State and Federal government have GUTTED the tobacco industry. They’ve forced the industry to hemorrhage billions of dollars in settlements, deprived them of advertising their products and spent your tax dollars to educate you about the killer leaf. They made the determination that this was a dangerous product (not so dangerous as to cause its removal from sale, Oh no! Those corporate checkbooks are too fat to allow that to happen) and should be controlled rigidly.
And yet, McDonalds is out there, selling death on a bun. What they and their fast food competitors are selling is just as unhealthy, just as lethal as a cigarette. Fat is killing America; the CDC says so. And yet we don’t require Burger King to label a whopper: “caution eating this product may cause diabetes”. No, we don’t. As a matter of fact, we let them sell their garbage to our children. Read this CDC site, obesity is epidemic in children, and so is diabetes. They're shoving crisco and sugar down our kid’s throats. And we let them.
Why does our government, who so heroically marched into the fray to save me from smokes, refuse to do the same about the garbage corporate America is peddling to the young and the poor. I am incensed! They (corporate america) must be made to educate the populace. They must be made to tell us what is in the garbage they’re selling us. I want labels on big macs. I want to see an end to whopper commercials. Let’s be fair, that’s what I’m asking for…fairness. Let’s treat all the merchants of death with equal contempt. That fucking Ronald McDonald is a killer, sure as those tobacco execs were. Take him off the goddamned public air-waves that I own! (That’s another rant).
Now, I’m going on the porch for a smoke and tater-tot.
Peter Palermo [9:49 PM]
can someone translate what the hell this means? Webslave will continue to further the ideals of slavery through the Total Power Exchange (TPE) while providing encouragement to girls who have been "shunned" from the on-line "Gorean Community" and/or are looking for something more than what the on-line drama of "Gor" provides them. We are Friends Helping Women on the Web to be true to themselves
Is all of human kind splintering into a million niches, sects and subcultures? You wait, there will come a day when you'll walk into a place of business and for the life of you, you'll be unable to decipher what they do, what they sell, who they are or where they came from. You'll feel very old that day. Much like my 80 year old great-grandmother must have felt when I took her to see Star Wars.
Peter Palermo [2:56 PM]
busy, busy, busy. Work is chalk full of meetings right now, leaving little time to post. The new house is lending itself to entertaining which also cuts back on my ability to make pithy remarks here. I mean, I only have so many pithy remarks in a day, and I need to save them for my live performances.
However, I would like all of you to notice that a real live radio personality from NPR, Mr. Adam Felber came by and left a comment. Oh, it is a brave new world.
Peter Palermo [11:05 AM]
[ Tuesday, April 23, 2002 ]
If you live under a blanket of constant fog, like I do. Then not only do your towels not dry out over night, your sugar turn into concrete and the chrome on your motorcycle crumble like an old brick - but your skin looks glowing and supple. Anyway, this is a great little tool for those of us who never see the sun.
By the way, it's a great place to grow lettuce!
Peter Palermo [9:54 AM]
[ Monday, April 22, 2002 ]
Snicker...
Peter Palermo [3:57 PM]
[ Friday, April 19, 2002 ]
I'm still thinking about a domain name. I've always thought that Olympus Mons, the gigantic mountain on Mars, was an exotic sounding phrase. It's certainly an exotic location. So I checked if I could get it. Sadly, no...but here are the other suggestions I was given....
olympusmons.biz $35.00/year
olympusmons.info $35.00/year
olympusmons.tv $50.00/year
olympusmons.ws $35.00/year
olympusmons.cc $35.00/year
olympusmons.bz $35.00/year
olympusloins.com $35.00/year
olympusfat.com $35.00/year
olympusfats.com $35.00/year
olympusvulva.com $35.00/year
olympuspubes.com $35.00/year
pubes? vulva? WTF is going on down there at NetSol?
Peter Palermo [5:21 PM]
This is incredible. Tabla Beat Science audio and video. If you know what I do, you'll understand how huge this is. The double live CD will be released this summer. Yes!
Peter Palermo [5:01 PM]
File this under "what the fuck were they thinking?"
Peter Palermo [10:01 AM]
[ Thursday, April 18, 2002 ]
Los Angeles Times: Iraq War: The Coming Disaster
Peter Palermo [9:42 AM]
[ Wednesday, April 17, 2002 ]
Speaking of masturbatory intensity (see below). Did you see this? The best moving sale EVER, mang! (via emptyage)
Peter Palermo [4:44 PM]
Thank god for teen-age boys. Really, I mean it.
If I'm out surfing the web, and I stumble accross a photo of a particularly comely female celebrity, all I need do is trundle over to google, type in the name and lo.... 48 different teenage boys will have assembled, with masturbatory intensity, shrines to this woman. I'll have my choice of "shrines", "pages", or "home of"s. So, let's say you see this, and you say, "huh...that's alright, I could see another something like that". No problem. Just go over to Toad's place and he'll hook you up. Where would a lazy old man like me be, without horny teenage boys to do my leg work?
Peter Palermo [4:11 PM]
This is a post I left on my newsgroup-
So, I just moved to the OUTER sunset in the city. Way out in fog zone, but that's fine. Fine, because now I get to take my second favorite street in the city to work everyday. The commute up and over twin peaks on Portola Avenue is terrific. Nicely paved, curvey as hell, timed lights and often light traffic. It's a motorcyclist's dream. I won't tell you what I've been up to out there, you'll think I'm a squid.
I have noticed, however, numerous cagers plowing thru red lights at 50mph +. Makes me a little nervous, but not too much, cause I'm not trying to cross the damn thing, just hangin' on for the ride.
But a rider wasn't so lucky last week, not sure which night - maybe Thursday?. I came down the hill and found squad cars and SFPD lighting flares and closing the road. One cop lady watched me absent mindedly as I waited to leave the road. Somehow, I knew by the wayshe watched me that the accident involved another rider. Sure enough, the girlfriend had seen the wreck, too, and confirmed. The next day, I passed the same spot and saw plastic bits and glass all over the intersection.
-glossary-
Cager = automobile driver
squid = the sort of young and stupid rider that gives motorcyclists a bad name. Typical riding attire is flip flops and shorts. Often performs insane manoeuvres in heavy traffice with girlfriend on the pillion.
Sarah saw another accident on Monday. This time, the cager was getting cuffed and the bike was totaled, no sign of the rider. So, as much as I love my new commute, I will proceed with caution.
Peter Palermo [3:33 PM]
No surprise this. Gen. Tommy Franks, conducting the war against Al Queda from the trenches in Tampa, let Bin Laden slip through his fingers. I remember reading about calls for his removal almost as soon as the war began. I suspect he'll be taking a "vacation" soon.
Peter Palermo [11:52 AM]
Scoop du jour - again, it's news to me, perhaps not to you. Ang Lee (crouching tiger director) is in Oakland, as we speak, filming The Hulk. This guy went from the Ice Storm to the Hulk? amazing.
Peter Palermo [10:14 AM]
[ Tuesday, April 16, 2002 ]
update on Metafilter about hoopla.com.
Peter Palermo [1:35 PM]
I've been thinking about registering a domain name for a while now. But, just like why I never got tatooed, I can't think of word that I can live with for the rest of my days.
antidisestablishmentarianism is available. Do think that might discourage potential hits? I need help. Leave me a comment or idea.
Peter Palermo [12:34 PM]
[ Monday, April 15, 2002 ]
God Bless and keep Molly Ivins
Peter Palermo [5:09 PM]
Chilean judge seeks to extradite Kissenger for his involvement in 70's coup
Peter Palermo [1:27 PM]
[ Friday, April 12, 2002 ]
From Textism:
NetSol, who are by any objective measure a stumbling army of stumbling boobs that stumbles more from year to year, have sold the great Leslie Harpold’s hoopla.com domain out from underneath her (it was registed by one Hubert Sarah of Berlin).
How can this be? It used to be three months after a registration slipped past expiry before it could be sold. When did it expire? Who do we deluge with protests?
I suggest we all march over to Netsol follow the links to customer service and lodge our complaint. I loved Hoopla, make it come back!
Peter Palermo [11:31 AM]
[ Thursday, April 11, 2002 ]
For years, especially during the dot.com boom, investment firms had a license to print money. They took little companies to IPO gave the first offering to their friends and clients, inflated the worth with their analyst shills, watched the price rocket through the roof and then cashed out. All the time knowing it was a house of cards. The New York Times describes the smoking gun. (may require sign-in)
By the way, I have a solution for the current accounting scandal. (Just as my unpublished solution for figure skating judging was later adopted by the IOC, you'll see that the SEC will take my advice here, too.) Simply demand that the Annual Stockholder report of profit and loss is the source of data for filing with the IRS. Currently, they do not need match. Think they'll puff up their profits when Uncle Sam is watching?
Peter Palermo [12:16 PM]
Holy Moly! Here is an exhaustive list ofMusic from TV Commercials . Am I wrong to feel depressed by the realization that so many bands I like hawk goods for Madison Avenue? Or are they just being smart? (via honan.net)
Peter Palermo [10:15 AM]
Here's my political question for the day. When Serbia invaded Kosavo, we bombed Belgrad. When Iraq marched into Kuwait, we bombed Bagdad. Now that Israel has occupied the west bank, an area the United Nations and the rest of the world agree is not theirs, shouldn't we be doing more than asking them to leave?
We do give them 3 billion dollars a year, after all.
I ain't gonna play Sun City.
Peter Palermo [9:59 AM]
[ Tuesday, April 09, 2002 ]
The office birthday party
Peter Palermo [4:16 PM]
okay, try this one everybody. Go to google and type in "billy graham anti-semite shithead". And tell me what you see.
I'm so proud.
Peter Palermo [1:56 PM]
The things you see...
Passed a guy on the sidewalk while he was bellowing at his girlfriend via the cell phone.
"How could you care! How could you care!"
I passed him, keeping my ears pinned for more. Reality is the ULTIMATE reality show. "FUCK!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, turning heads for the length of a full city block. Was he enjoying the performance? Why would stand on a busy street and break-up with your girlfriend? And somehow I feel robbed of the true performance, because I only got to see his side of it. Where was she? On the bus? I hope. The last thing I heard, from a block and a half away, said with seething rage and malice, "I could never hurt you!"
Peter Palermo [1:52 PM]
It's a big day, gentle reader. I have arrived. Of course, I had to spell underwear incorrectly, but who cares.
Peter Palermo [9:16 AM]
[ Friday, April 05, 2002 ]
You heard it here, first!
Or, maybe not. But it's the first I've heard of it, and that's all that really matters. I read this at emptyage and was inspired to write a brief missive to the San Francisco Examiner.
From: Peter [mailto:pejamo@sbcglobal.net]
Sent: Friday, April 05, 2002 3:43 PM
To: Letters
Subject: word to the wise
If you're going to survive, SF Examiner, I've got one word for you. Tabloid.
Do it, or die. You cannot compete with the Chronicle, so make yourself into something new.
Which illicited this extremely speedy reply:
As luck would have it, we are in the process of redesigning The Ex into a new format. Look for it in late spring/early summer. Zoran Basich, executive editor, The Examiner
Peter Palermo [4:35 PM]
sneaky bastards
Perhaps this will be the first installment of a new series entitled, Sneaky Bastards. Perhaps it won't. It all depends. At any rate, I have uncovered a sneaky bastard and I wish to tell you about it. I like to watch the Seinfeld reruns, it's still the funniest show on TV. Lately, I've noticed the TV would go all snowy, as if the cable (oh, we no longer have cable in our life. The most cruel of all the dictates laid out in the new Penny-Pinching regime.) had gone out. All static and snow. Didn't think much of it at first, but it did grab my eye. Then, it happened again. Only lasted for a few seconds, and then -bing!- on with the show. After a few nights, I realized that the snow always came between ads. Curious, I thought. Someone fucked up changing tapes? So, I watched more closely. What do you think I discovered? Every night, on channel 2, there are 5 seconds of snow brought to you by the good people at McDonalds. The ploy works, too. When that snow comes up, you snap your head around and look. You're all indignant about the cable rat-bastards taking your money for such crappy service, when it's some 30 year old, SUV driving, johnnie walker blue drinking, hands-free phone talking, movie times on the palm downloading, junior marketing VP you should be lacerating. Sneaky bastards.
Peter Palermo [3:01 PM]
Tried many times over the past several days, to post something of substance, but the Gods seemed to conspire against me.
This week has surely shaved some time of my life expectancy. Moving, alone, is enough to cause angina. Add to that my regular, full-time job that is rapidly picking up pace as it builds to a crescendo around June 16, and the friggin' moonlighting gig I've taken and you've got cause for a month's reservation at Betty Ford.
The house is terrific; I pray to the money god's nightly that we can afford it. I think we've about tripled our living space and quadrupled our storage. Jasper is still a little freaked, I never realized how much creatures of habit the little creatures in our lives are. He's all discombobulated and follows me around the house, always managing to place himself exactly where I need go. I think he likes the backyard, though, he's already started his major excavation project.
But, by christ, I need a day to myself. It doesn't seem like I've had a day off since I got back from Mexico a month ago. There may be a sick day in my near future. Don't tell my boss.
Peter Palermo [10:38 AM]
[ Thursday, April 04, 2002 ]
Craps table dead ahead! Diving planes, 10 degrees down, fire at will! (via lunasoul)
Peter Palermo [12:27 PM]
[ Wednesday, April 03, 2002 ]
Here's something intelligent by none other than the monstrous pig of the planet, Pat Buchanan.
Peter Palermo [3:26 PM]
The creepiest, most clearly stated indictment of the current administration. (via Tom Tomorrow)
Gary Kamiya in Salon Premium:
The Bush administration's foreign policy is in shambles. Each passing day in the Middle East brings new horrors, new bloodshed, new hatred. And it isn't just the Middle East: The bankruptcy of the Republican administration's approach, not just to the most explosive and strategically crucial region in the world, but to foreign policy in general, has become impossible to ignore. In a little over a year in office, Bush has allowed the Israeli-Palestinian crisis to explode from a small brush fire to a raging conflagration; squandered the global goodwill toward the United States after Sept. 11; set back the cause of moderates in Iran with a comic-book invocation of "evil"; endangered key allies in South Korea, Saudi Arabia and Egypt; failed to pursue vital peacekeeping and nation-building efforts in Afghanistan; clumsily pushed the Arab world into greater solidarity with Saddam Hussein; put forward a potentially dangerous new first-use nuclear doctrine; and filled our European allies with contempt and rage at our heavy-handed unilateralism. The Bush administration is rapidly staking a claim as the most incompetent foreign policy presidency in the post-Vietnam era.
The most alarming thing is that Bush's foreign-policy train wreck is no accident: He and his advisors planned the whole mess. As Nicholas Lemann pointed out last week in his revealing New Yorker report on the Bush administration's global strategy, key strategists like Dick Cheney and Paul Wolfowitz drafted a brief laying out their aggressive vision of America's global role back in 1990 during Bush I. The centerpiece: a vision of the U.S. as world hegemon, "shaping" (i.e., initiating) rather than reacting to events, and preventing any other country from challenging our domination.
Peter Palermo [9:12 AM]
