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THE PRINCESS BRIDE The Grandson
(Fred Savage): A
book? escapes, true love, miracles... overwhelming. Vizzini (Wallace Shawn): Inconceivable! Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright Penn):
You mock my pain. Princess
Buttercup: We'll never survive. Count Rugen (Christopher Guest): [admiring his torture contraption]
Beautiful isn't it? It took me half a lifetime to invent it. I'm sure you've
discovered my deep and abiding interest in pain. Presently I'm writing the
definitive work on the subject, so I want you to be totally honest with me on
how the machine makes you feel. This being our first try, I'll use the lowest setting. Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin): You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill
you. Man In Black
(Cary Elwes): All
right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you
decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead. Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is
divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the
poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the
poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool
would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly
not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a
great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the
wine in front of me. Man In
Black: You've made your decision then? Vizzini: Not remotely! Because iocane comes from
Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with
criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are
not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. Man In
Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected
I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine
in front of me. Man In
Black: You're just stalling now. Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?
You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you
could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save
you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also
bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you
must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far
from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of
me. Man In
Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away
something. It won't work. Vizzini: It has worked! You’ve given everything away! I know where the poison is! Man In
Black: Then make your choice. Vizzini: I will, and I choose - What in the world
can that be? [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts
looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets] Man In
Black: What? Where? I don't see anything. Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw
something. No matter. First, let's drink; me from my glass, and you from
yours. Man In
Black: You guessed wrong. Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's
what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You
fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is
never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known
is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha - Princess
Buttercup:And to think, all that time
it was your cup that was poisoned. Man In
Black: They were both poisoned. I
spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. |