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I
am continually amazed at the word pictures painted by this writer.
She is known as Simply A Junkie but in my eyes her style and vunerability in expressing her feelings is Simply Amazing. 
Bite the Bullet Sucking on a loaded gun Master of my fate Gazing into vacant dreams Encompassed by the hate All alone in an empty chair Slowly sinking down Stomach sick and turning The doctor's out of town Little dancing Prozac In puddles bright and red Now I lay me down to sleep Overdosed on lead. Simply a Junkie  If All Else Fails Lying on a bed of nails That pierce my tender skin Load me up with concrete blocks Soaked in last night's Gin Depress the switch that kills the sun Which burns my tired eyes Expose the clouds and poisoned rain While circling the skies Drowning in a misty haze In a land where no one lives In a church where no one prays And takers never give Breathing becomes a full time job Hearts skip a beat Shattered souls refuse to sob And sinners take their seat Casting stones with broken arms Through waves of self deception Inflating egos mighty charms Behind discolored perception Blood crawls down my back From lying on the nails Wearing a grin you could never crack And I'll die if all else fails. Simply a Junkie Suffer the Children Heroin and blood travel my vein I've lost my face; I've sold my name In a second longer than it takes to rise Out goes the pain, but in come the lies Float to the old familiar place Where puppets can smile without a face Where puppies and children become best friends Where abuse is gone and murder ends Where mothers play with their little boys And daddy fixes his broken toys Where little girls fix their hair And go through life with little care But poor puppy is hungry and the water's gone dry And my little children sit silent and cry The puppets strings are tangled and messed He's missing his eyes and there's a tear in his vest Mommy no longer sings us songs Whatever we do...it always seems wrong Mommy forgot how to tell us rhymes And daddy yells at us most of the time Our broken toys collect on the floor Daddy says...he'll fix them no more There's no time to laugh, or play and have fun I must give sister a bath before dinner is done She set the table and gave everyone a plate But we know by now...mom and dad will be late Something wicked has taken our place Dry my tears brother, while you clean my face Like the puppets strings, my hair is a mess Maybe that's why mom loves me less Mom's on the floor again - with those holes in her arms She sold my gold necklace and the three tiny charms Home is not as it was before Wake up daddy there are police at the door I think we lost mommy and daddy too Can someone please tell us...What did we do? I would do whatever it took - anything at all Just to hear daddy say, "Son, let's play ball." And I'd sell all my toys and even kiss my big brother If only I could have back my mother Let's play the wish game brother, like we always do I'll make a wish - then you'll wish one too My wish today, I have wished before That daddy stops yelling and moms alive on the floor And my wish is a wish that I wish could come true That mommy and daddy could love me and you The day is over sweet sister and it's time for bed Before we go, we'll make sure they're not dead Brush your teeth now and get a drink I cleaned the bathroom, so please rinse the sink Lay down now and I'll tuck you in tight Then I'll throw all the monsters out into the night If you have a nightmare and can't get to sleep I'll blow a kiss in your hand for you to keep I'll see you sweetie, when morning comes I'll make you some eggs and cinnamon buns Tomorrow will be a brand new day Maybe things won't be the same way No matter what mom and dad ever do Rest assured that I'll always love you We're in this together and we'll fight till the end For the day you were born...I had found my best friend Your eyes look heavy - so I will go now Mom and dad love us the best they know how Just one more thing before I go There's one last thing that you must know Mommy and daddy are very sick now But I promise I'll fix them...when I figure out how. Simply a Junkie Obscure Lucidity Clarity beckons for Release From this clouded Soul Painted black With fear of Life Faint light shines through Tiny little pinholes Left behind by Monojects familiar Sting Emitting exactly enough Light To identify The silhouette in the Broken mirror As self And with the Blink of an eye The silhouette Oozes off the Mirror To sleep In the drain. Simply a Junkie Praying Lead My life is vomited onto These pages Through the tip of my Mechanical pencil Words gathered together Systematically Creating a story I wish I didn't know How to tell The eraser has been Worn to nothing Yet plenty of Spare lead Sleeps peacefully Nestled in a plastic sheath Concealed in the Bowels Of the top drawer Below the electronic canvas Praying to their Mechanical god That they aren't Chosen next To finish the task Of which the others Never made it out Alive. Simply a Junkie Raised Trails I've numbered all my veins And traced them with the spike My arms look like the designs That a snail leaves behind In the sand Raised trails that each Tell their own story Of being a prisoner To the syringe Bruised skin and Dried blood Create a confusing Collage Which resembles Hell The infected abscess In the bend of my arm Begs for heat and Attention But receives only cold Neglect Promises of a new Tomorrow Fade faster than The setting sun And for another day I inject myself with Liquid life So I may continue To breathe Long enough To hope that Tomorrow never comes. Simply a Junkie To Simply Be A Junkie My monkey used to live in trees But now he's here to stay Living on my barren back He just won't go away I drag his weight around with me I never am alone Each new day I see him My, how he has grown Get this primate off my back He's becoming much too strong Slaughter this hairy bastard He's lived here much to long I slash and thrash to throw him down But he always comes back home To the comfort of a barren back Where monkey likes to roam Padded feet are soft on flesh I somehow love my monkey Together we face the day again To simply be a junkie. Simply Liquid Rainbown Paint the world with all The colors of Insanity And watch it bleed Liquid rainbows for All to see Appreciate in Wonderous glory What a bleeding world Has to offer a Stagnant existance Sell me liquid rainbows In holographic syringes To inject into My eye So beauty is only A gaze away Blood turns to paint And I can leave My story On an empty Canvas Below liquid rainbows Where hate procreates And dreams will Rest in peace. Simply a Junkie Satan's Sperm Broken wings and faded dreams The remnants of a childs screams Scars so deep-not caused by sharps Satan strums on angels harps Heroin warms my bodys cold A dirty syringe to have and to hold A lifetime marriage to Satans sperm An exorcism at pre-term But when Satans sperm works it's charm What's another hole in my arm?Simply A Junkie+ Heroins SlaveWasted again in my own Private hell Close the door The public is welcomed There isn't anything To see But maybe a hundred holes In my arms and legs Or despair painted on These four walls What business is it Of yours anyways? I'm only hurting myself, Right? Don't patronize me I know better than that I've been at this Much too long To believe that I'm not causing you pain Why don't you just stop Caring? It truly isn't my fault That you give a shit About me Personally, I wouldn't Give a shit to me Much less give a shit About me Get over it And leave me And my four walls To weep in the Darkness Not for what I'm Doing But for all I Could have done Go about your Own life But never forget That with everything left In me I love you Mom. Simply A Junkie If I thought If I thought that I could reach the stars I'd pluck them from the skies If I thought that they would make you shine I'd place them in your eyes If I thought that I could slice a cloud So all it did was rain I'd slice the cloud with all my might To wash away your pain If I thought that death would end your hell I'd take my life today So you could finally live in peace And I could fade away. Simply A Junkie Demons Grin Blinded by the spike Devoured by addiction Tainted blood and poison Lost in the affliction Speeding like a freight train Through tracks of veins decayed Forever lost in time Silence loudly played Loneliness is knocking On mirrored panes of glass All the dreams of yesterday Only come to pass Broken hearts are littered Where demons left and smiled Now there is a junkie Where once there was a child. Simply A Junkie My last Breath I often wonder about drawing my Last breath There is no doubt that I will have just one Last thought Or one final regret Or maybe, yet another Unspoken ammend Maybe I'd care to Beg for forgiveness And just make it All inclusive Will I tell my kids that I'm sorry....again Or maybe I should tell My mother Better yet, I might want To just apologize to the Entire world As not to miss anyone Should I regret life Or just the way I lived it Maybe I'd be better off Just checking out in silence As words can't mean Shit When my trail of destruction And innocent, broken lives Follow me to a Brilliantly sculptured cemetary Plant a rock on top of My head And spit into the wind. Simply A Junkie Enraged Irrevence Propped against Daggered pillows On a bed of Boiling acid Irreverenec breeds Insidethe walls Infecting the Occupant inside Do not inhale The poisoned air Which fornicates In hell Ptomaine scented candles Have their own way Of making life Worth dying The wallpaper sheds some Tears each night And humms To the wordless Songs inside my Disgrace. Simply Irreverent Fly away my little friend We need to talk a minute On what happens here today When I offer you to Mother Nature You need to fly away Head towards the city For the birds that look like you Don't look back my little friend They'll show you what to do Be careful near the street And of people who are mean You'll encounter a lot of things That you have not yet seen Feed your belly when it's hungry When you awaken each new day Keep your feathers in condition And don't forget to play You're at a disadvantage Because I took you from your nest Please know within your heart My intentions were the best Fly away my little friend The world is now your own I look back on the day we met And my, how you have grown If we ever meet again Down the road some time My heart will carry peace To know that you are fine But If you're ever sick or lonely No matter where you roam Mom will always be right here And you can come back home. My little Pigeon friend was set free but never quite left. He comes home every night to sleep. I will probably cry the night he's not on the porch waiting to come in. How do you get attatched to a pigeon?!?! It was very easy!!!! I syringe fed him (Baby bird food of course!!!) for months. He only had tiny little yellow specks of feathers when I got him and now he is the greatest looking dumpster diver you'll ever see!!!!!! Simply The Stars Will Take My Dreams Maggots feed on the thoughts Rotting inside My head Stagnant, like standing water Is the blood That sustains me Death, camoflauged As life Each time my heart Pumps Mistakes of Days gone by Until my boday realize That infected blood Kills all but Maggots And wicked deeds Will one day Sleep Beneath granite stone And most stars will Conceal the secrets of The dreams they once Heard me think On the days before I opened deaths door And one day Place those dreams Gently In the arms of my Children To achieve what I had Never started. Simply A Junkie Maggots I have a rare fondness for Maggots Don't get me wrong- I wouldn't want to Keep them as pets and I prefer not to see them But the life of a Maggot Has got to be The most ingenuious Creation. To be able to Get dropped off Just about anyplace foul And rapidly thrive there You are never any better Or worse than you neighbor And hate is spread Evenly. Having no ties to Anyone or anything You gorge yourself on Treasures of which a Higher life form has Condemned as Garbage And disregarded as trash Yet it will sustain you Long enough To allow you to Transform into something Rather ugly Yet, significantly more beautiful Than what you began as. Given new body parts With mesh covered eyes And delicate wings Strong enough to Transport Your entire body To the destination of Your choosing. Gorging on new treasures And continously pissing people off Being such an annoyance that Even the most Docile person Wants nothing more than to be Responsible for your Death Your ingenuity allows you to Escape the homicidal intentions Of bodies millions of Times your size on a Regular basis And within days You can simply Lay down and die With no regret. SAJ Peace Comes to Visit Heat sears on the inside Burning all nerve endings To the point of Numbness. Like 4 hits of acid Ready to explode, Warmth overtakes the Unbearable cold- Which would convince you That I were dead. Lifes lessons Wrapped in warmth And peace stops by For a visit- Just long enough for A cup of coffee And incoherent Conversation Under ceiling fans With broken wings And bits of nerves As pull chains. SAJ Caffeine Withdrawls It's 5 A.M. and my head is Pounding. More than my next breath- I need a coffee. Thoughts of French Vanilla 2 sugars and Extra cream Supersede my urge to urinate. When the directions say 5 scoops... They really mean 8. As the water pisses through The tiny hole and The aroma fills the air with Sweet goodness I am reminded of my needed trip To the bathroom. As I sit with a Death grip On my 12 sheets of Toilet paper I wonder why Mr. Coffee Is so slow in The morning. It crosses my mind to Place some grounds Between my Cheek and gum, Or maybe an I.V. bag Screaming at full force Through the vein in The side of my head. Mr. Coffee and I Drip our last drip Simultaneously. My choice of a coffee cup Comes with great ease. The extra large Dunkin Donut's cup Big enough to hold Three tennis balls and A pregnant hamster. Filled to the top... I take my first gulp. As I return the Bag of coffee to the Refrigerator, The bright green sticker stating "DECAFFINATED" Pierces my eyes and Ruins my day, So I chew on a Tea Bag Instead. Some days just aren't worth getting out of bed. SAJ Mr. Brownstone Mr. Brownstone blows through towns To snatch your kids from their playgrounds He'll lure them in with a taste or two You'll find there is nothing that you can do You can beg and pray and even cry Just wait for the day your junkie will die Open your arms and be the pillar of caring But needles were always meant for sharing Hide your money and lock the doors Watch your kids become dope whores Isolate them and push them away Because you can't stand to see them this way Sit by the phone with the haunting thought in your head That the next time it rings...it's because your kid's dead Think of the first day of school when you wept And all the fingerprints you wish you had kept Coloring book pictures and Winnie the Pooh Planting flowers and trips tp the zoo Flying kites on brilliant days And making costumes for school plays Every kiss that ever touched your heart And how long a minute was when you were apart Remember the toys and dirty socks on the floor Receiving smiles and craving more Matchbox cars and Barbie Dolls Crocodile tears with slips and falls Playdough stuck to your slippers at night Crossing the street with your hand held tight Felt, construction paper, and crafts to do And all the times you heard "I love you." Inside out socks in the laundry pile And all the times those socks made you smile Birthday cakes and wishes come true Learning to love by watching you Worms in pockets and daisies in hair And dressing up Mr. Teddy Bear Remember all the songs you would sing Now willing to die for the phone not to ring For if it does...your worst nightmare come true You're child won't hear "I'll always love you." SAJ Stiches Never Lie Held together by stitches on Infected wounds While insanity barters with Reality Chaos begs for Forgiveness While evicting peace from It's silent cavern Total emptiness overtakes Fulfillment And self-destruction buys more time Teetering on the brink of life Just a bad descision away From death Holding on to one Last dream While today fucks tomorrow up the ass Slain dignity belched up inepitude And stiches never lie. SAJ Mykaels Ink Drops Tears on notebooks Makes ink run They pool at the bottom of The page Only to fall off Into nothingness Drip by drip They gather And multiply on The floor Swirling and growing Until death by drowning Is inevitable Drowning by your own Thoughts and tears Sins and secrets No more air left To breathe Lungs pierced with pain Tired from the fight Solitude in silence Clinched tightly in Your right hand Remains the pen For it is the sole reason You are still Alive If only for another Second Until your smeared words Pull you under To sleep restlessly For eternity. SAJ Liquid Hell Drug filled thoughts Of liquid hell Stained red Like pretty roses hEaven drowns in HIV Grasping at straws of Splintered hope This overcrouded Soul Asylum Belches up All the prayers That I refuse To mumble. SAJ My Prison Cell Sentenced to life Behind rusty bars There is no sunshine There are no stars I have lamanated my core With bags of deceit Traded my life For walls of concrete Bang my head on icy steel Never changing-this is real Encased in my own prison Nothing to do but die Self-induced incarceration Each time I inject the lie Everyone makes a mistake or two I know this very well My mistakes have led me here To my prison cell. SAJ Mind Riot Existing in a mind riot Where chaos invades the spaces Between twisted thoughts And rational thinking More often than not Enticed with the obsession For personal innhiliation And the ingestion of nothing That is good for me As heroin overtakes Each screaming nerve One by one My mind can Sleep Just long enough to convince me That somewhere inside Still lies a human being. Simply a Junkie Living the Beautiful Life Living the beautiful life For another day Hopeless dreams fuel insignifance While today fucks tomorrow Up the ass I'm much to tired To stay awake any longer Insanity barters with reality And an asylum would be A welcomed vacation Non-existance stifles vitality And breathing becomes more painful Than glass in my eyes If only I had a nickel For each tear I cannot cry I'd have enough money To buy a dump truck Full of heroin Reduced to that of an animal I'll set down my syringe Curl up like a dog And beg to die. Simply a Junkie Hell's tomb Seeking solice in Hell's tomb Finding retribution Wrapped in silk Adorned with specks Of gold Firing punishments Through diamond sharp tips In bile filled syringes Screaming insanity Through every hole In my arm and soul A hanging head does not Equal rest Nor does breath Equal life Songs of death Mesmerize my Existance While life itself Stifles vitality The cold morning sun Burns my tears Until darkness Rapes every ounce of Life left inside my Vacant corpse I carry on the best I can Inside of hell's tomb Where nothing Rests in peace SAJ
Teach me How Teach
me how to walk again simply a junkie......still
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